Closer

DAN: Why'd you leave?

ALICE: Problems with a male.

DAN: Boyfriend?

ALICE: Kind of.

DAN: And you left him, just like that?

ALICE: It's the only way to leave. "I don't love you anymore. Goodbye."

DAN: Supposing you do still love them?

ALICE: You don't leave.

DAN: You've never left someone you still love?

ALICE: Nope.

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ALICE: I don't love you anymore.

DAN: Since when?

ALICE: Now. Just now. I don't want to lie. Can't tell the truth, so it's over.

DAN: It doesn't matter. I love you. None of it matters.

ALICE: Too late. I don't love you anymore. Goodbye.

.

.

.

DAN: I love you!

ALICE: Where?!

DAN: What?!

ALICE: Show me! Where is this love? I... I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words. Whatever you say is too late.

DAN: Please, don't do this!

ALICE: Done.

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I love the movie Closer. I can't exactly put into words why but there's something about the dialogue and the raw human emotions displayed for all the world to see that draws me to it. It's so honest and I swear, it makes me cry every time I watch it. The snippets above are some of the most memorable lines for me probably because I can relate to them. I know I've said them at some point so I was totally nodding like crazy while watching the movie. For those who haven't watched it: The first dialogue happens at the beginning of the movie and the second one is a couple of minutes before it all ends. WATCH IT!!!

I don't know if my gal pals can relate but I know I've got a little of Alice in me. I have never left someone I loved no matter how hard it was (I never claimed to be logical) but once I have reached my limit, I snap out of it and move on. Done. I never look back. You wake up one morning and realize that you no longer love that person. It seems cold doesn't it? That's the way it is, kiddies. Feelings come and go which is why I still think that love is never enough. There has got to be commitment and to be able to commit your whole heart, mind and body to someone, you've got to have courage. I mean, let's face it: There are no guarantees in life and even more so in love. No matter how you think about it and try to cover your bases, nothing or no one can promise you that your heart won't get broken. Loving someone is taking a huge risk that a calculator nor a logical brain can ever help you prepare for.

So, someone asked me if I considered myself cynical and my answer would have to be "no". Why? Because inspite of everything I've been through, no matter how aware I am that it hurts to have a broken heart, I still believe there's that one person out there for me. As much as I'd like to wallow in what I call self-preservation mode (Marga-speak for building so many walls around you and fooling yourself that you're immune to love and no one can ever hurt you again), I still want to take that chance (sorry Gin & JP for being so stubborn). Sabi nga nila, "It's better to feel pain, at least you know you're alive" and just like what someone told me recently, you don't really have to be sad either. It's your choice if you'll wallow in self pity and depression. Nice di ba?

Done. Moving on... =)